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August 23, 2015 / Amy Bradney-George

Poetry: Holding Hands

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When I was little

You were the most beautiful woman in the world.

I loved holding your hand

And hiding behind the folds of your clothes.

A little girl, proud I would stand

By your side, feeling comfort and protection

Knowing I was not alone.

 

As I grew up

And explored all my freedom

I spoke my mind and made mistakes

That you helped guide me through.

You supported me, helped me create

And do things the way I wanted to.

 

Then came my years as a teen,

And yes, I know I had my moments

As a drama queen.

Testing out boundaries,

Making and losing friends,

Challenging you to match the challenges I felt.

You always accepted me, you always cared

If I ran out angry, you would run after me

And even when I hated it

It still meant the world to have you seek me out

When we fought.

 

There were good times too

That we shared in those years.

Playing cards, cooking, making jokes,

Testing things out, exploring possibilities.

Witnessing each other’s growth.

 

Then came the years

That introduced me to adulthood.

I struggled and strived

To make a new life, a new home.

 

Still we would talk and share and laugh

And I would visit

Leaving with renewed love in my heart –

And a sadness to depart.

 

I think those first few years out of the nest

Were when I had the most secrets

But I still felt you knew me,

Almost the best.

 

When I set off to roam the world

Finding new forms of love

Exploring my self

Then discovering heartbreak,

It was the painful beauty of separations

And change that brought us closer together.

 

I found more value in raw honesty.

I shed my skin and shed my tears

And told you about my fears and insecurities.

When I felt so much doubt

And struggled to justify myself and my life

You were there to help me through,

Holding my hand, letting me hide for a time

Supporting me to find my wings anew.

 

This bond of ours shifts and changes

The way we share ourselves varies over time

But we’re never strangers.

You’re still that beautiful woman

And part of me is still that little girl

And we still hold each other’s hands

Across the distances of the world.

 

Even in the strangeness of life,

The unbearable challenges,

The painful comparisons and judgments

That we throw on ourselves,

That hold us back and weigh us down

And make us feel so alone

Even in the darkest darkness

Even in the thickest lantana

That coils around us and scratches us bare

We will always have each other.

 

Through you and with you

I have learned about love.

I have reached the depths of despair

And soared up to the peaks of happiness.

I’ve found treasure in supporting

And in being supported.

 

So even though we both may struggle

To navigate the seas around us at times,

To ride over the waves of doubt,

Loss, pain, hardship and fear,

There is warmth in my heart

A sense of support, of knowing

That life is a beautiful thing

Because we are both here.

 

Image credit: gfpeck on Flickr.

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