Skip to content
December 9, 2007 / Amy Bradney-George

The Tree of Strife

A tree has once again caused people more hate than help in a recent attack on peoples’ rights. The Girl Who Fell and Probably Doesn’t Wish to Be Named For Fear of Interminable Association With this Article*, was forced to walk with crutches after jumping from a Gold Coast tree which led to an ankle atrocity.

The tree, dendrochonologically unidentifiable while still alive, was seen resenting the crowd of people innocently climbing it and pulling small branches, leaves and bark from it in the process. Witnesses said they knew the tree was involved in the fall after it happened.

“I saw The Girl Who Fell and Probably Doesn’t Wish to Be Named For Fear of Interminable Association With this Article fall from the tree, and I think it must have had malicious intent against her,” a friend of The Girl Who Fell said.

Gold Coast environmentalists have justified the event as a “human accident”.

“The Girl Who Fell clearly antagonised the tree by climbing all over it and being really disrespectful of nature,” a spokesperson for the environmentalists said.

Officials are still investigating the tree’s involvement, but preliminary reports show the tree is a prime suspect.

“I’m never hugging a tree again,” The Girl Who Fell and Probably Doesn’t Wish to Be Named For Fear of Interminable Association With this Article said in a press release this morning.

When approached for a comment, the tree used the Right to Remain Silent to its full advantage.

*Name has been slightly modified to protect The Girl Who Fell from other attacks.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: